I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
