My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
