there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
