Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
