How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
