What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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