GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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