I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
