did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
