get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
