Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I have fence marks all over my body
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
