I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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