Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
