dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
