I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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