he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
