I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
