You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i think i have two assholes
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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