Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
