I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This baby is an asshole
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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