i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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