I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
