Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
