yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
