His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
