i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
