The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
