Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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