i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
