you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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