Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
