there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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