found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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