i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
