i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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