God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
not ubering you a puppy
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
