Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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