If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
