I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
