three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
