We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
