do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
