I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
