look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
