Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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