If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Enjoy the penises
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
