I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
