Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
love makes seman taste better
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
