Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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