I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
