porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
